Wednesday, November 9, 2016


Director: Umberto Lenzi
93 minutes
I rented this movie back in 1994 on VHS, but had to return it before I had the chance to watch it. Then I moved and couldn't find a copy in my local stores. Now, in 2016 I have a uncensored DVD via Grindhouse Releasing and I have to say, this movie lives up to its infamous reputation.
Our three main characters, Gloria, Pat, and Rudy, travel to the Amazon to find evidence that corroborates Gloria's P.H.D. thesis: that cannibalism is a myth concocted by white European imperialists to justify their annexations of foreign countries. She intends to prove this by seeking out a tribe known for their alleged practices and proving that said cannibalism is poppycock.
Whilst traveling deeper into the jungle, our "heroes" are made to abandon their vehicle after it becomes stuck in a deep puddle of mud. They continue on foot and come across two other Americans whom claim to have been attacked (and one wounded) by the cannibals. They join forces and come across the tribe's village.
Without spoiling the rest of the movie, I'll just say that things (and people) are not what they appear. What happens next is gory, and disturbing, to say the least. The film hosts a bevvy of genital mutilation, attempted rape, misogyny and animal mutilation. It rivals the mighty Cannibal Holocaust in these respects. Similarly to Cannibal Holocaust there are intercut scenes of a police investigation taking place in the United States, juxtaposing with and giving some respite to the jungle horror.
The cinematography is great, as is the soundtrack. The acting is on par with Italian films of that era, wherein you can ascertain the emotion, but the dubbed dialogue and script, translated from the Italian, are clunky at best. This is clearly evident in the film's somewhat confusing conclusion.
Overall, this film is not for the faint of heart and the grim nature will disturb many viewers, especially considering the aforementioned mutilation and animal deaths. Yet, for those who can stomach this type of material, the film is a rewarding exercise in utter depravity. I recommend it to those who regularly seek out such exercises.

Thursday, October 13, 2016


Director: David Hartman
85 minutes
United States

After 18 long years, the world finally has its next and final Phantasm film. Filming began in 2008, envisioned as a webseries tentatively titled "Reggie's Tales". Filming wrapped in 2014, and the installment was announced publicly, but due to post-production problems and distribution negotiations, it would not be released until 2 years later in October of 2016. In the interim, fans were clamoring for information, the hype became fever-pitched, and aggravations grew.

The Phantasm franchise has always had a special place in my heart. Though it is utterly perplexing at times, I've found it to be one of the most consistent horror franchises, due to its reoccurring cast and the solid direction of Don Coscarelli in parts 1 through 4. Part 5, however, is directed by David Hartman, a protégé of Coscarelli's, and announcement of this switch-up in 2014 had caused concern amongst the hardcore fans of the series.
This long awaited installment is likely to be highly divisive. Viewers are either going to love it or hate it, with very little middle ground. That was to be expected, given the same fan response to part 4. Reggie is the focus here, rather than Mike, and he is dimension-hopping through three different timelines. One follows the conclusion of part 4, one is in a post-apocalyptic future wherein the Tall Man has eradicated the Earth, and one in which Reggie is a resident of an old folk's home, dying of dementia. All three of these timelines begin to coalesce and poor Reggie, as well as the viewer, can't figure out which reality is real.

Having been filmed with almost no budget, the special effects take a big dip from previous installments. It is also abundantly apparent that the film was a patchwork of old footage, webisode footage and new material meant to pad the runtime. It is disjointed and schlocky and comes across like a Troma film without the humor. Despite these flaws the film, at least for me, it still works.
As for closure to the franchise, there is a lot of room for interpretation. The film requires the active participation of the viewer, as you have three endings to choose from. Yet it remains true to the spirit of the original and its themes of loss and mortality. It even makes sense of the rather nonsensical beginning of part 2. Overall, if you are a fan of the series, this film is like a bleak and somber love letter. If you haven't seen the first 4, watch them before you dig into Ravager or you will be utterly lost.

"Ice cream man. It's all in his head." - Phantasm 4


Wednesday, September 7, 2016


Dir. Michael Anderson
United States
When an ambitious fisherman, Captain Nolan (Richard Harris), has an encounter with an orca at sea, he becomes convinced he and his crew can capture one to sell. Against the protests of whale expert Rachel Bedford (Charlotte Rampling), Captain Nolan and his shipmates depart in search of their latest cash cow. Having tracked a pod of orcas, Nolan attempts his capture, but only succeeds in clipping the dorsal fin of a male orca, and fatally wounding its pregnant mate.
Dejected and horrified by his own behavior, Nolan and company return to port whilst defending against the male orca's grief-ridden attacks on his ship and crew. Meanwhile, the orca has followed their trek back to their small town, and begins to wreak havoc on the town's fishing economy, as not only does the orca drive away the fish, but begins destroying their infrastructure as well.
The townspeople are notably angry with Captain Nolan for the orca's attacks, and the Captain is struggling with his own depression and tragic past. With public pressure surmounting and with a bit of coaxing from the poorly-dubbed Umilak (Will Sampson), Nolan sets sail to finally confront the murderous whale.
Orca the Killer Whale has oft not been lumped in with the other Jaws knockoffs that began to appear in the latter half of the seventies. Unlike movies like Grizzly, however, Orca really isn't a Jaws retread, rather it is more of a modern retelling of Moby Dick. Nolan is very much an Ahab-type whose slow decline into madness is equaled only by the grieving whale he's hunting. Although much of the pseudoscience of the movie begs for nitpicking (orcas are not monogamous animals, for one), these minor flaws are outshined by the lush cinematography, the psychological narrative and an excellent performance by Richard Harris. It is by no means a perfect movie, and cannot compare with the almighty aquatic horror of Jaws, but it is an entertaining, and at times, a surprisingly grim watch. Oh, and Bo Derek is in this film for about five minutes.
I'd like to thank Wildman Willis for sending me this movie on DVD. Every 25th subscriber he gets to his Youtube channel wins a package full of DVDs and comic books and I won the first. You can be next! Check his Youtube channel out here:

Thursday, September 1, 2016


Dir. José Mojica Marins
80 mins.

This was my first introduction to the universe of Zé do Caixão, known to the English world as Coffin Joe, and it was a glorious introduction indeed. Gory, depraved, arty and exploitative, director and star José Mojica Marins not only pioneered Brazilian horror with his Coffin Joe series, but carried with it a post-modern philosophy and critique of society's morality and class.

This particular entry is an anthology of three tales demonstrating the triumph of instinct over reason, a thesis that Joe himself asserts in a narration over the opening credits. The first story is called O Fabricante de Bonecas, or The Dollmaker. The titular artisan works at home with his five daughters, all of whom look like they're in their thirties, wear vestial white gowns, each having their own creepy, oversized and eyeless doll.

A group of men conspire to rob the dollmaker in his home, believing him to be the owner of a substantial treasure. After beating him and brandishing a knife, the old man blacks out after suffering what appears to be a heart attack. One of the men discovers the dollmaker's daughters and the group turn their attention away from treasure and towards rape. The women have their own deadly secret, although, to which the men soon discover.

In "Kara" ("Obsession"), the second vignette, we are introduced to a homeless addict who holds balloons in the street and spies on a specific woman through her window, as she disrobes and bathes in her apartment. The creepy hobo becomes fixated on the woman and follows her around town as she obliviously lives her life, shopping, dating and even eventually becoming married. You might think you know where this story is going, but you don't. The twist midway is truly unexpected and allows for the real horror of the piece to unfold in its climax.  

The third entry, "Ideologie", constitutes the real meat of this film. Professor Oaxiac Odez (Zé do Caixão reversed, and a probable alter-ego of the character) is being interviewed on a TV show about his theory that love does not actually exist, and that instead we are creatures of instinct and convenience. One of the journalists strongly disagrees with the professor, and after the interview concludes,  Odez invites the the dissenting journalist and his wife to his home for a demonstration of his philosophy. When they arrive, Odez (in scenes foreshadowing Blood Sucking Freaks) conducts a prurient show of sadism, cannibalism, and debauchery to prove to the couple that survival trumps any and all notions of human love.

The anthology is well written, directed and acted. The jerky editing adds to the thick atmosphere of the film, and is reminiscent of early surrealist editing, like that found in Cocteau's The Blood of a Poet, or Bunuel's Un Chien Andalou. José Mojica Marins is a ferociously original filmmaker, and is criminally obscure. His name should be spoken in the same sentences that invoke Jodorowsky, Lynch, and Russell. Having now seen many more films in his oeuvre, I can attest Marins has perfectly grafted horror, arthouse and exploitation into a potent concoction and in doing so, created an aggressively unique body of work that challenges the viewer, deconstructs social mores and entertains like no other. Highly recommended!



Thursday, August 7, 2014


Angela, host of Angela's Trailer Park, is one of the most eccentric horror reviewers out on web, because rather than just knit picking fake efx  shots or slamming shoddy writing, he rather praises his subjects for their entertainingly campy and bloody forays into the genre. With an equally eccentric image and DGAF attitude to boot, he provides an alternative to the oft oversaturated web geekery.
Thee Satanophile: If you could remake any horror series, which would be and how would you improve it?
Angela Voorhees: The ones I would want to remake or do my own thing left, I’m not good enough to do so. Haha.
Thee Satanophile: Maniac (1980) vs. Maniac (2012)
Angela Voorhees: William Lustig’s Maniac. The remake was unwatchable for the sole reason of [the] POV 98% of the flick.
Thee Satanophile: Favorite non-horror film?

Angela Voorhees: Mallrats, Pink Flamingoes, Grease (CD in car at all times), Party Monsters, and Rock n Roll High School.
Thee Satanophile: First and last movie to scare then shit out of you?
Angela Voorhees: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974). 5 year old me was pissing himself. The Conjuring from last night.
Thee Satanophile: If you were the scriptwriter for Ghostbusters 3, what should I expect?
Angela Voorhees: I’d pass because I’m not the biggest Ghostbusters guy. It’s not a bad movie, just
never had the love for it like most do.
Thee Satanophile: Who are your favorite reviewers in the Reviewsphere?

Angela Voorhees: The Cinema Snob and [anything] 12:01 Beyond related.
Thee Satanophile: Death match! Maniac Cop vs. Terminator.
Angela Voorhees: Psycho Cop!
Thee Satanophile: Death match! Laurie Strode vs. Jamie Strode.
Angela Voorhees: Tom Akins.
Thee Satanophile: How true to your life is the character of Angela Voorhees?
Angela Voorhees: A louder one I guess.
Thee Satanophile: Favorite bands? The Germs are a given.
Angela Voorhees: Marilyn Manson, GWAR, GG Allin, The Misfits, Danzig, Skid Row, and anything with Keith Morris.
Thee Satanophile: Your family was all about horror, as you were growing up, which I feel (maybe I'm wrong) is exceptional for many of us. Tell me about that upbringing.
Angela Voorhees: My Disney films were Godzilla flicks. In Kindergarden I was sent to the principal office for my Friday the 13th lunchbox. It was very much a open househould and my mom is the reason I'm doing this today.
Angela's Trailer Park appears on American Horrors on Mondays

Thursday, July 17, 2014


Leslie Rice, aka the Fear Fan, is the writer/director and star of the web series Terror Obscura, a review show that tackles the horror genre. Mr. Rice takes a more analytical approach than most reviewers, and he opts to review entire franchises, giving each installment in a series its own episode. Also, he offers shorter, truncated reviews on a show called Fright Bites, to appease fans in between episodes of Terror Obscura. The following is an interview I conducted with Mr. Rice, wherein we discuss the philosophy of horror, what's up next for both shows, and which horror icon would survive in a fight to the death. 
Thee Satanophile: What do you think makes horror unique? What separates it from genres that include similar themes of murder or crime (i.e. drama, sci-fi)?
Leslie Rice: Well, that's a very interesting question, and I think it can best be answered by defining the term 'Horror'. If you were to go through each of the other genres and evaluate them, you would eventually be able to boil them down to a single term or phrase that describes what feelings or thoughts they were meant to inspire. For example, you might get something along the lines of 'speculation' when you talk about Sci-fi, or 'excitement' when discussing Fantasy. When discussing Horror though, the primary goal is to inspire 'Fear'. Think about it - you can have any of those other genres, but whenever that element of Fear creeps in, they become a hyphenate. "Sci-fi horror." "Horror Comedy."
Thee Satanophile: Would you say, then, that other genres, like comedy for example, essentially contain elements of horror? Furthermore, if we can equate horror with conflict, then horror is the jumpoff for narrative storytelling in all genres. Hell, when Mr. Hooper died on Sesame Street, was that not a form of horror narrative?
Leslie Rice: Ha ha! While I admit that's an interesting idea, I think that saying all genres contain elements of horror is like saying that you and I contain elements of an elephant seal - we're made of the same stuff, but what really matters is how it's put together. All narrative storytelling requires conflict, but what makes horror... well... 'Horror'... is the consistency of that conflict - man vs. fear. When you look at every single horror movie, what you'll find lying under the surface is a particular fear, or combination thereof. What if my kid turns out to be a terrible person (The Good Son, The Bad Seed, Children of the Damned)? What if everyone really IS out to get me (Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Faculty, Invaders from Mars)? What if the Boogeyman actually IS real (Nightmare on Elm Street, etc.)? While everything contains the POTENTIAL for horror, it's only when they begin to focus on one of those questions that you get a true horror story. Like you said though, most things do contain some trace elements of fear, and I think that's why so many other genres mesh so well with horror- because it's already got the seeds there. It's not really TOO surprising given that fear is one of the oldest human emotions.
Thee Satanophile: What was the first horror film you watched as a kid? Also, what's the last movie you saw that authentically scared you?
Leslie Rice: Looking back, it's difficult for me to say what the FIRST was, but I DO recall the ones that first managed to scare the crap out of me. While I always liked the classic Universal Monster movies as a kid, the first thing I remember actually scaring me is the Disney version of Sleepy Hollow. There was just something about that insane cackle and how damn RELENTLESS he was. No matter what poor Ichabod Crane did to get away, that sword was always just a few seconds away from taking a little too much off the top. If I had to give you a runner up, it was Forbidden Planet, although that's not technically a horror movie. There was something about the Id Monster that messed with me.There, it wasn't just the fact that it was invisible, or that it was invincible, it was that godawful ROARING sound it made. Awesome stuff. As for things that've scared me recently, I've got to admit that it's been slim pickings as far as stuff that's actually FRIGHTENED me to the point where I was legitimately scared. There have been plenty of films that startled me or made me a little uneasy, but I'd say the best bang for my buck in the last few years were the Insidious movies. THOSE are films that know how to use atmosphere, creative setups, and yes, the occasional jump scare to great effect. There have also been some pretty good smaller, independent films, but since I generally watch those on the small screen, I'm afraid their impact is lessened considerably...
Thee Satanophile: Let's play death match! Round one is The Tall Man vs. Pinhead.
Leslie Rice: That's an interesting one... Since Pinhead is primarily concerned with the souls and flesh of the living while the other is a collector of the bodies of the dead, it's kind of hard to think of a reason they would come into conflict, but if they did, I guess we'd have to look at what they have to work with.
All right - let's start with the Tall Man! He's an extra dimensional being who can be killed, but no matter how gruesome the death, he can simply send another one of his multiversal doubles through to take his place, provided there's a gate nearby. Then there's his arsenal- A finite number of 'turned' replicants and human collaborators as well as a theoretically unlimited supply of dwarf minions and HK spheres as well as the occasional master sphere. On top of that, there's his own prodigious size, strength and transformative abilities to consider.
Then, there's the cenobites! Acolytes of a dark god, shapers of flesh and bringers of both pleasure and pain. Capable of appearing at any point after being summoned and arguably invulnerable to anything other than losing the favor of Leviathan or having the Lament Configuration's alignment altered. They bring with the blades, stabbing weapons, and the hooks that their leader can summon from the shadows.
So, who would win? Well, the Tall Man has the advantage of numbers and not having a soul, as well as some experience with interdimensional travel. The Cenobites on the other hand... Well, I tend to disregard pretty much anything from the second movie on, so really the only way I can see them coming out on top is by recruiting and converting enough new cenobites to send them out and close all the gates at once. So yeah, I'm giving this one to good ol' Angus Scrimm, the Tall Man.
Thee Satanophile: Round two! Peter (Dawn of the Dead 1978) vs. Daryl Dixon.
Leslie Rice: Sweet picks! As for Peter vs. Daryl... Peter. Because Ken Foree, motherfuckers.
Thee Satanophile: Can't argue with that. Round three! Count Jackula vs the Horror Guru.
Leslie Rice: Shit... Another tough one, lol! Well, if they both do one another in, there'd have to be SOMEONE to step in and fill the gap... (Conspicuously adjusts collar with a wink.)
Thee Satanophile: Who are your favorite producers in the "reviewsphere"?
Leslie Rice: Well, I refuse to play favorites with my friends on the Booth, and I can honestly say that I love all their work equally. Of the larger, better known critics, I'd probably say my top 3 are Doug, Phelan, and Brad. I'm always looking at others who are just starting out, or who have managed to carve out their own fanbases, and I'm always amazed by the amount of effort and love people put out for their work.
Thee Satanophile: In your Friday the 13th Part 3 review, you tackle the Jason-as-a-rapist controversy, but I noticed you didn't mention Tracie Savage's character Debbie's alleged pregnancy.
Leslie Rice: Yeah... Video was already 35 min... Didn't want to push it too far and besides, I didn't have much to say on it since it didn't affect things too much.
Thee Satanophile: I had always taken that character's comments about being pregnant as sarcasm; her and her boyfriend were constantly ribbing each other. If her character was intended to be pregnant, though, I think that would make her death more savage.
Leslie Rice: Yeah, she says it a couple of times, but he doesn't ever ACT like she's pregnant, so who knows?
Thee Satanophile: If I'm not mistaken, A Nightmare on Elm Street is your favorite franchise, am I right?
Leslie Rice: Hmn... Let's just say favorite 'straight' horror franchise.
Thee Satanophile: OK... which do you prefer... Freddy as a child molester/killer, or Freddy as just a killer?
Leslie Rice: Well, while it was never explicitly stated in the original series, it WAS heavily implied that he was a kiddie fiddler. Also, that WAS Craven's original intention, so I don't think there's ever been much of a separation for me.
Thee Satanophile: In your opinion, what was the first slasher film? Some people say Halloween, but there was Black Christmas and Psycho before it. Before Psycho, there was Peeping Tom and going back even earlier, Fritz Lang's M and The Phantom of the Opera... whose canoe attack scenes were aped later (many times) by the Friday the 13th series.
Leslie Rice: Well, everything draws it's inspiration from everything else, so it IS really difficult to tell where things start or end. Hell, arguably Cain and Abel were the first slasher villains. Still, if you define the modern 'Slasher Movie' as a deranged killer stalking multiple victims and doing away with them in creative fashion on screen- I'd say Halloween is the first true modern slasher film in that it established so many conventions of the Genre. Still, honorable mention to all the others.
Thee Satanophile: Where can my readers can find your show?
Leslie Rice: Thanks again for the promotion, and I really appreciate your featuring me on your blog!
Thee Satanophile: No problem! I love the show, looking forward to more Friday the 13th reviews. What's next on your agenda?
Leslie Rice: Thanks! I'm doing an editorial on why Masks are so important in horror and a Fright Bites on Gremlins 2, then I'll be tackling (Friday the 13th) Part IV.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014


MALICE IN WONDERLAND (1982) (UR) Dir. Vince Collins
4 mins.
This short animation juxtaposes the themes and characters of the Lewis Carroll classic with psychedelia and sexuality. Alice enters into her own labial gates and transforms into various yonic and phallic creatures. Using simple, crude and yet hypnotizing animation loops, Vince Collins essentially encapsulates the Gnostic angst towards the human body.
Certain Gnostic groups, such as the Skoptsi and the Cathars, believed the body to be the prison of the soul. Enlightenment was therefore to transcend the mortal shell, and this goal was obtained through various extremes, be it sexual abstinence, castration, flagellation, or even, in the case of some Gnostic sects, promiscuity.
Alice is shown physically morphing much like the alien in John Carpenter's The Thing. The different illustrations highlight the fluidity of gender, the frailty of flesh, and the implicit sexual innuendos in commonplace phenomena, be it drinking from a bottle, smoking a hookah, or opening a door.
Sometimes the images are surreal and beautiful, other times they are jarring, nightmarish and unrelenting. They reflect the full and complicated spectrum of human sexual relation, both internal and external. It can be gorgeous, sensual, fun, indifferent, gross, violent, or traumatic.
Many Gnostics believed that the creator-god, or Demiurge, was evil and had created an imperfect world; hence the proclivity of suffering and disorder within it. Alice herself seems to question the intentions of the Demiurge itself when, at the end of the animation, she asks, "Who has had such a curious dream?"